My Testimony
As given before my baptism on January 24, 2021
Several years ago, shortly after my mother committed suicide, I felt that God was pulling me towards Him. I’d always been a believer but was not brought up in the church, knew virtually nothing about the Bible, and was convinced that God hated me. Despite all that, I half-heartedly prayed the sinner’s prayer, joined a local congregation, and was water baptized. I don’t know what I was expecting, but all I felt immediately following the baptism was wet, and in the weeks following, nothing in my life changed for the better. My heart was hardened. I resumed drinking alcohol, a habit I thought I’d conquered, and was quickly addicted once again. I rapidly descended into a life FULL of sin. My behavior became more wretched and vile than ever before, and I had absolutely no regard for who I was hurting through my selfish, disgusting acts. I stopped attending church less than a month after I’d joined. For many years since, I lived an ungodly life. In Romans 8:6, the Apostle Paul said, “For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace.” I was, indeed, spiritually dead and was now convinced that God hated me.
In late 2016, I was living in a 29’ travel trailer. After an extremely impulsive, ridiculously clumsy, and drunken suicide attempt, I knew things had to change. I stopped drinking, ended my participation in an emotionally abusive relationship, and spent most of 2017 working in Virginia. Since then, I’ve bought a home and started a successful business. In hindsight, I am convinced this was all the work of our Lord.
Early in 2020 when COVID-19 began wreaking havoc on most folks’ lives, God was working a miracle in my life. Although I was not seeking Him, He found me, and I developed an unquenchable thirst for His word. I now spend hours each day listening to sermons, reading my Bible, and taking Bible classes online. I cannot get enough. I feel much like the psalmist in Psalm 42:1-2: “As the deer pants for the water brooks, So my soul pants for You, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.” I barely recognize the new me, and it is wonderful!
I have blissfully submitted myself to the will of God and am at great peace in turning my life over to Him completely. As Jesus said in the Garden of Gethsemane, “Not my will, but Yours be done.” Luke 22:42. I no longer fear death and long for the day I enter the Heavenly Kingdom to spend eternity with Jesus. While I am an utterly undeserving sinner, I am ever grateful for God’s mercy and grace, and I rest easy in my assurance of salvation and eternal life. Jesus said, “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes in Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.” John 5:24. I am very much spiritually alive!
The Holy Spirit is divinely working within me. It is my tenacious desire to live in perfect obedience to my Lord God, and I am being baptized today as a public profession of faith in and reverence towards Him. I am immensely grateful that He led me here to First Alliance Church.* I pray you all experience the same hope, joy, and peace that dwells within me. Per Romans 15:13, “Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
*I have since become a member of a conservative PCA church that much more aligns with my understanding of God’s Word.